Logical Proverbs

“No news is good news”… “You can’t have your cake and eat it”… if you consider things perfectly logically, these should bother you. After all, if no news was good news, logically speaking, all news would be bad news, yes? And that would be bad news.

So, here are some more logical versions of a few common English proverbs….

No news is no news.

A stitch in time saves nine, and therefore 81, therefore 729, therefore 6561 and so forth.

A penny saved is a penny not spent.

Using short words and phrases instead of long ones is the most significant part of certain types of humor.

Children not heard should be seen – and very quickly!

Blood is thicker than water. By 6% if you mean “density”, or by a factor of about 4 if you mean viscosity.

Don’t put all your eggs in … wait, this one reminds me of a nice puzzle! You have an infinite number of baskets, the first has one egg, the next has nine, the next has 81….

Empty vessels make less noise than, say, vessels full of ghetto blasters or firecrackers.

If pigs had wings, they could fly. I have a marvelous proof of this, which this margin is unfortunately too small to contain.

If you can’t beat ’em, you shouldn’t have put ’em all in one basket.

Let’s let bigons be bigons. (In answer to : What should we call a two-sided figure? )

There’s always more fish in the sea, assuming an infinite number of initial fish.